Rock Fiction Coveting: Come Undone by Madelynne Ellis

Posted: January 19, 2016 in Rock Fiction Coveting
Tags: , , , , , , , ,


Let’s get right to it ’cause one look at the opening twelve words and those typos and even I’m cringing, and I don’t think it’s Susan’s fault. Err, influence.

When red-hot, Goth-metal band, Black Halo, split live on stage, fate throws Daniella Fosbrook into the path of sexy vocalist Xane Geist. Initially, Xane’s only looking for a ride home, but Dani tempts him in a way a thousand other women haven’t. Determined to explore their heady chemistry and avoid hashing things out with the band, Xane whisks Dani off to Monaco for a steamy weekend.

There, Dani tries her best to hang onto her heart and some clothing, while Xane soon loses both. However, Xane isn’t being entirely honest about the reason for the band’s demise. When the truth comes out, can Dani accept the facts, or will everything come undone.

A few months back, Ivan Moody had a huge blowup on stage over something or other and it looked like Five Finger Death Punch had broken up. My news feeds were full of this and the speculation, and then the rumors and the hopes and the innuendo and the statements and the backpedaling and then the … absolute silence about it. So bands do break up on stage — or not ’cause FFDP’s still out there, putting on shows.

So okay. The premise… it’s possible. Xane has a pissy fit and runs away. Ivan didn’t run away — maybe he’s more of a man? But then again, no one’s NOT calling Ivan Moody a man — but on the other hand, that’s gotta be a pretty traumatic thing. Why’s this Xane dude running away for a weekend of sex? Is he the type to avoid life? If so, it makes sense that he’d have this onstage, public breakup that you know people are getting fired over. ‘Cause if they are so red-hot, that means there’s a lot of money and jobs on the line here.

But this means we need to know the guy, or get to know the guy, and then this becomes less of a romance and more the story of a guy fighting his demons and frankly, while I’d read this in a heartbeat, if the book doesn’t focus on Xane and why his name’s got that ultra-hip X to start it and what his issues are, I think it loses what sets it apart, right there. This guy’s got potential to be a rocker of the ages, with this much angst.

The problem is that opening line in the description. Even I know that the first three commas are crap and have no business filling a page. But split live on stage? Hello, what? Are they supposed to break up when they are dead on stage? Animatronic on stage? The breakup comes via video? Then how do we know it’s real?

I hear Susan’s got room on her editing schedule, although she’s been pretty booked again lately (lots of people are smart. Be one of them.), so yeah. Don’t let twelve really bad words make people wonder if your book is any good. Because like I said, this one has a ton of potential and I want to know if I’m right to be intrigued by this Xane dude. (by the way? From this description, I could care less about the prude Dani, who doesn’t seem to do much other than be an excuse and try to keep her clothes on while she’s getting all steamy. Or was she planning to watch Xane get steamy with someone other than her? Voyeur! Why don’t we see more of that in Rock Fiction? That’s a very rock and roll thing to be.)


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